goodness and badness

Goodness is one of those things that God put into creation and time and life. Life is, in and of itself, good.
However, there are times when it doesn't seem that way. There are times when I can look at any object, any state, any set of possible choices, and say that they're bad.
I'm pretty sure that's just a sign of my own sinfulness, which is a choice.

I don't have to be in school, and because of fortuitous circumstances I don't really need to be working right now either.
What money I am earning from part-time jobs is going into a savings, (or slowly draining into my motorcycle and truck and house...) If I didn't have my M.A. paid for, I would be more careful with my money. If I had more classes to take over the summer, I would be more diligent with my time.
This is a sign of badness. There's something wrong with me, because I can't find anything wrong with having school paid for or a summer-long vacation.

Perhaps the problem is legalism: not that I'm obsessed with doing things that are silly and unnecessary, but that I'm obsessed with getting out of what's too much work and doing what's merely legal instead.
Then again, maybe I'm just pessimistic.


Anonymous said...

you should go on a vacation this summer then.

Naomi said...

or apathetic, or minimalistic, or just tired...