Recipe of the ... whatever.

Meatbrick:
2 eggs
2/3 cup (~150 ml) milk
2 tsp. (~10g) salt
1/4 tsp. (~1g) pepper
3 slices of bread (remove the crusts)

1/2 cup (1 med, 1/2 large) onion
1-2 cloves garlic
1/2 cup (a few really big ones, 4 or 5 skinny ones) raw carrots - shredded
1 cup (what's the density of shredded cheese, anyway???) cheddar cheese

1 lb (~500g) lean or extra-lean ground beef

Topping:
1/2 cup ketchup
1/2 cup brown sugar
1/4 cup mustard

Start a fire, light your kiln, or switch on your electric oven and get it up to around 350° F. (Wood-fired ovens will likely be much hotter, and will thus take less time. Anything higher than 450° will burn the outside of the meatbrick, though. A ceramics kiln made for refractory bricks might not go low enough for meatbricks.)

Mix first five ingredients. Pulverize.

Add vegetable matter, then meat. Combine as if forming a brick, into an ovenproof brick-molding form or a narrow, brick-shaped pan.

Bake in the oven for roughly one hour (or until internal temperature reaches 165° Fahrenheit. Stand-alone probe thermometers are $10 at Superstore.)

For the sake of presentation, you may wish to drain off the excess fat that will have puddled in the pan. It might also make a reasonable gravy, if you didn't want to use the ketchup/mustard sauce.

Egg can be omitted from the recipe without much trouble.

(original recipe courtesy of Michelle, this version heavily modified)