Today is a very special day:
It's Naomi's unbirthday!

[cue music]
Imagine just one birthday every year.
Ah, but there are 364 unbirthdays!
Precisely why we're gathered here to cheer!


A very merry unbirthday
To me
To who?
To me
Oh, you!
Now blow the candle out, my dear
And make your wish come true!
A veeery merry unbirthaadaaay tooooo you!
[/music]

Naomi's actual date of birth is a state secret, and I would be in a lot of trouble if I announced it someplace public like this, but if you were under the impression that the date in question was somewhere around exactly one week ago you wouldn't be far off.
If you forget before next year, I'm sure she won't be disappointed.